Lovely Dares
by Brave New You
Summary: A LilyJames fic. Lily and James start to warm up to each other. Intensly. Just read to find out hard to summarize.
1. Chapter 1

**I own... nothing. Thank you.

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The crouds cheered as the band started up. Gryffindor's side growing louder and louder; cheering that name. His name.

Then out of nowhere; a V shape of players on brooms; all in red and gold zoomed out onto the feild right through the Slytherin's team wavering them. A flash of pale blue eyes; capturing pale blue eyes; and dangerously adorable black hair appeared at the front of the V. The Gryffindor Team halted in the center of the stadium. Tons of people that didn't even attend Hogwarts had come to see this game. They were competing in a school wide Quidditch Cup. A wicked grin passed over the boy's daring; handsome features, his uniform flapping behind him. The team drifted pin straight; upward and then zoomed down. At the boys sharp arm movement they stopped; on their side of the feild. They held their fists in the air as their team cheered louder; louder.

"Gryffindor! Gryffindor! What was that! Potter! Gryffindor! Gryffindor! What was that! Potter!" grew in volume from the Gryffindor stands; even in the Ravenclaw stands.

The wicked grin turned into a dangerous one as he made perfect eye contact with Malfoy. Locked.

"Potter!" came a yell from his teammates.

He turned abrubtly on his broom. It was his best mate; Sirius Black. His long black hair ruffling in the sharp wind. He nodded to him. "Yeah?"

Sirius grinned; "Lets kick their sorry asses." he said and another grin, a deadly stunning one, appeared on James Potter's lips. He nodded and the team cheered.

It was like he was in the real World Cup tournaments; but he wanted to be an Auror. Forget Professional Quidditch Player.

The small golden snitch flew around Lucius Malfoy's ego enlarged head; then around James adorable one. They both glared; a sneer comming from James and Lucius all for each other. The wistle sounded and James dogded up. His broom pin straight; going upward. He went just high enough and stopped to see Sirius throw a nice pass to another teammate. A smile spread on James' face. This was his game. He loved it.

After a while of watching; waiting; anticipating... a buzz fell through James' ear... quickly disapearing. He thrust around looking for its source. His pale blue eyes captured it. The swivvering little golden snitch zoomed around; here, there then off. He darted; faster than lightning itself that the Gryffindors had to pay close close attention to see where he was in two seconds. He darted after the small golden object; no sooner had Malfoy come up behind him.

James glared back at Lucius; Lucius returned the gesture. James focused ahead. Great; heading for the stands. He saw a flash of red hair. Perfect; his lips curled into a grin.

The snitch loomed around the stands; right next to a girl with firey red hair and a form to match. Her beautiful green eyes glaring at James the whole time; following his every move. Yet she held a more heavy glare for Lucius.

James' grin turned into a dead sexy one as he aimed it straight at the girl. She just glared back; turning flushed. The boy next to her rolled his eyes; Remus Lupin.

James zoomed his broom right next to her ear; making her hair just flap in the wind behind him as he passed. Her heart raced dangerously fast. Her eyes darted for focus on the surroundings. Her flowing voice rang out in a loud yell to the boy Remus.

"What!" she said shakily. "What was that!" she screamed over the cheers of "Potter, Potter! Whoooo! Potter, Potter Whoooo!" and "Sirius Black! Siriusly Awesome! Sirius Black! Siriusly Awesome!" and simple "Gryffindor! Gryffindor!"

Remus just shook his head. James was an ass.

James' robes flapped. Malfoy was loosing pace behind his lightning zooms darting sharp turns here and there. Then suddenly the snitch dropped; dead straight down the center of the feild. James grinned. He'd practiced this before.

Him and Malfoy head down; pinned to the air straight as pricks. They picked up enourmus spead; heading down ... closer to the hard, cold ground.

Malfoy's look of worry finally became real. He pulled up catching his quavering breath.

James kept going; dead straight down. He eyed the snitch; almost glaring at it. Reaching out his hand; he saw the ground come nearer.

Then he hit hard; right on the cold, hard floor. He rolled off the broom; eyes shut.

The red head took a sharp intake of breath. Was he dead? Lupin grinned; as did James' team. Malfoy went wide-eyed.

James grinned devilishly; making some girls falter as they watched him from their binoculors. He hopped up and looked at the roaring croud. People had stopped cheering; waiting; watching.

He shivered. He held out his hand; up in a fist. Opening it; nothing happened. Then a small flittering object flew up and out. He'd caught it.

Immediatly roars erupted from the Gryffindor stands. Like 2000 megawatts of lightning people set off red and gold sparks througout the stands. Even Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. Two Slytherin first year boys were cheering too. An older boy slapped their heads.

James looked directly at the girl. That girl. His gorgeous lips moved in one swift motion to form a word. One word.

"Lily." he silently said. And he knew she'd seen. She'd been tearing. A lump caught in her throught.

She immediatly glared back.

He grinned back up; daring her to do something cruel; something harsh later. She looked away. He grinned again and accepted the hard pats and whacks on his back from his team. The party was to be great indeed.

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James blinked from all the flashes. Cameras for news articles; school articles etc were going off. He finally got into the common room and everyone hushed. Then cheers broke out and the whole team was immediatly up in the air; sitting on everyones hands.

James laughed whole-heartedly. He lived for the thrill; that was all he ever told reporters when they came to see the best yet Quidditch Seeker. He hated the title.

After some time; towards the end of the party; the team had gotten changed and into a party mood. Firewhiskey lay about the tables for people to drink. James was wearing an untucked school white shirt; loose tie; and his school pants. He loved that look. The first button; or maybe first two.. who could count right now; were undone. He was dancing with a blonde; skinny girl. He immediatly caught gazes with Lily.

She couldn't look away; as much as she pleaded with him with her eyes... to just stop playing with her; he didn't. He grinned and she felt her knees buckle. What was happening? He looked away though; just when she wanted him, and started kissing the girl he was dancing with. She giggled and playfully slapped his shoulder.

Lily fired up. Bloke.

But he stood true to her; and looked back. Now not breaking the contact as he danced with the Gryffindor girl. He grinned again. He loved grinning. And ran his hand through his hair which got Lily to closer eyes. It was inticing. She shuddered and groaned audibly. This was way too much.

Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. When she opened her eyes; she saw the girl at a table getting a butterbeer with her friend. Where had James--

"Hey." came a voice; with a distinct smell. That musk and lust filled her senses; her nose. It was intoxicating.

"Potter." she said and whirled around to face him.

He immediatly put his hands around her waist. "Evans." he said and tilted his head to the side with a smile; his eyes alert and gleaming. He was somewhat drunk. A little.

Lily glared harder; but found her glare become a blank look. He'd out of nowhere pulled her against him. She felt his strong arms hug her tight around the waist. His head fit perfectly in her neck line; and as he breathed in he tensed around her. Then exhaling; he loosened. They stayed that way for 3 or 4 minutes. Then he let go.

"What--"

"Hey. Have a good time." he said and his eyes gleamed with a lust. A lust. But a real smile; a real smile; formed against those heavenly lips. And he just walked away.

Lily noticably shivered. She could still feel his warm breath against her neck from where his head had fit perfectly in her neckline. She could still smell the lust and musk comming from his oh so distinct smell. What was it? He always smelt too amazing; she felt like she would go over the edge from a simple breath he took.

She closed her eyes. "Mmm." she said as she remembered the feeling of him. The feeling of him hugging her. She liked it. A lot. Opening her eyes she saw that the party was almost over. She hugged herself.

James was already up in his dorm. She sighed and walked up to her dorm. Still feeling that sensious feeling from just before; she slid into bed.

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**How'd you like? (: R&R thanks.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own any of teh lovelies JK has thought up in that ... creative brain of hers. (:

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There was a shift. Nothing. Another shift. Silence.

Two stiffled laughs came from next to the bed; one of the laughs belonging to a dark haired sex god of the school. The other belonged to the book smart yet stunningly attractive as well boy of the school. Two true members of the Marauders. The boy they were hovered over was their leader; _the_ sex god of the school. His black messy hair falling in his face; one strand sticking to his forehead.

The boys poured the bucket of ice water from the black lake on James. Faded blue eyes opened immediatly accompanied by a deep yell. His voice had changed; they were after all in 7th year now.

"Sirius! Remus!" he said chasing them around in only his boxers. He grabbed two pillows on his way.

Sirius jumped over his bed laughing like a mad man. Remus was running for dear life.

"Rawr I'll bite.. Bwaha!" Remus yelled. "_Hehe_." he added.

"Just cuz your a werewolf doesn't mean anything! Full moon was last week." James said smartly and threw a pillow that hit the boy square in the face. He locked onto Sirius.

The shaggy haired boy gulped and yelped like a girl as the pillow hurtled past him. He dogded it.

James growled and got another one. Remus and Sirius bolted out the door down the stairs. Then were in the common room somewhere. So there James was; a pillow in hand. No shirt; no nothing just boxers.

"What in Merlins name is--!"

But James instinctivly threw the pillow at the person who'd yelled. Then he gulped. Oh no.

Lily's face heated. "What was **that** for--" but she cut herself off this time.

James then grinned. "Never seen me in my underwear then Lily?" he said and tilted his head with a smirk.

Lily couldn't talk. His body was so... perfect. She shivered; hoping he wouldn't see but he did. And he only grinned wider. She saw his muscle flinch as he locked eyes on the moving person. Sirius. He snatched up the pillow from where it'd fell next to the couch after hitting Lily in the face.

He ran fast. Really fast. Like a deer.. or a stag Lily thought. How right she was.

James knocked Sirius down and started beating him with the pillow over the head. Sirius was laughing. Remus was laughing his insides right out; so hard he was on the floor.

James got up breathing heavily and made a triumphant look. Then he turned back to Lily. He gave her that look. The one that said; _'I wanna do stuff with you right now'_ and she froze.

He jumped over the back of the couch; so he was now sitting next to Lily. "So." he said with that same look. Lust. She loved it. But she still couldn't speak.

"Mm." she said; her voice wavering. "M'ya?" she asked. It was the closest she could get to words right now.

James gave a short laugh. Then he looked at her like he did last night; at the party. A real smile cracked over those die for lips and he tilted his head a bit. Lily felt a wave run throughout her body. Good god; it was wanting? She wanted him. Great. That was just lovely.

James sensed it; he saw her shiver the slightest. Being a stag has its serious quirks. He raised a brow; breaking that real smile that he never gave. He never smiled. Not genuinly. He always found it hard to; when he knew that there was simply no reason to smile with what happened in his life. He used to. Before... well--

Sirius thwaked James with a pillow; Remus thwaked Lily and to Lily's horrow she ended up on James.. on the floor..

She could feel his body against hers. He grinned down at her; and did something she'd never of expected. He just got up. She protested for a fraction of a second; going for his arm but stopped quickly. He noticed it but didn't acknowlage it.

What was going on?

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"Mr. Potter. Mr. Black. Be ... _quiet_!" came the voice of their Transfigurations teacher. McGonagall glared.

They grinned their sorries and looked back at their books; still murmering. McGonagall had gotten up by now; walking around the room.

James was the star student for Transfigurations; brilliant he was. Sirius and him laughed; stiffled though; at a joke he'd just said.

McGonagall grabbed his text book and thwaped him over the head. "**Shh**." she said and glared hard. She love him as her student but my gods he could be agrivating.

Lily burst through the door. "Sorry _Sorry_ SORRY! I **know**." she said as McGonagall opened her mouth. She closed it and pointed to the seat next to... James. Urr! she thought.

James was smartest in this class; so he'd been paired to help her whenever possible. Just the day before; right before the game started.

Lily sat down next to him, and he smiled over at her. She hoped it was real; but nope. This time it was fake. You could plainly see. She felt a wave a pitty roll over her. What had happened to change his full hearted smiles into dead ones? She was the only one who could tell they were fake anyways.

James whispered in her ear, "Need the notes?" but instead of pulling back he stayed there; by her neck.

Lily shook her head. His breath heated her neck. James grinned; and she could feel it.

He abruptly moved away as McGonagall passed by.

"**Wait**. I need the notes." Lily said finally back to attention. This was the only class James took notes in. Lily needed them. Badly. She was always late for this class.

James pulled them out of the book he'd placed them in. "There you are." he said and went back to laughing with Sirius. Remus had joined them a minute ago. They were all stiffling laughs about something.

McGonagall had enough. She came over to them. Sighing, she grabbed up the heavy text book. Then as she shook her head she prepared herself. She did this every day.

The boys then all laughed again. She took the second text book; and twaped Sirius and James hard over the head. They groaned. Remus laughed at them, but then McGonagall whacked him upside the head. She couldn't help but smile as the bell rang for them to leave.

Lily was grinning at James. He looked over to her rubbing his head tenderly. She stiffined. He gave her that musky lust filled look again. She swallowed hard; noticably hard; and exited the Transfigurations room.

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"Wooooooooooooooooooooo. Woo **woo** _woo_."

Lily jumped. Sirius had just been cheering at nothing; wooping and wooing. She groaned. Why couldn't he just.. shut-up? She opened her mouth to yell at him; but then James came down. She stopped dead.

His hair was damn amazing; going in different directions here and there.. one peice sticking slightly to his forehead. His lips were supporting a damn good lookin' grin and his eyes were glinting with some sort of anxiousness. His white school shirt; was as always half tucked in half untucked. His tie hanging loosely around his neck, and his pants a bit baggy. He looked so sexy, Lily thought as her fear came true. James noticed her looking, and locked gazes. Now how was she supposed to look away?

Sirius had jolted upstairs to take a shower after saying "I think I stink!" and Remus was reading in his room. The common room was empty because most were up in their rooms; or out on the grounds.

James tilted his head; inquiring as to what she was looking at. He purposely looked more intently at her.

Lily shivered again, damn. He saw it. A grin threatened to come accross those damn sexy features of his.

Before Lily knew it James was sitting next to her stretching. Lily turned to him. He smelt ... well like James. It was unbelievable how he did it; she just died every time she smelt him. Not like she actually sniffed him; thank Merlin.

Lily was looking pretty good herself; James couldn't stop staring. She wore her white school shirt untucked; the first two buttons open. Her firey hair was waved and hanging on that damnable neck line of hers. He shivered too; which was odd. He usually made girls shiver. _Woah_, he thought.

Lily was shocked. He shivered? At who?

_You, you dimwit_... said herself to herself.

James snapped back to reality. "So. I guess I'll let you continue on with you work then?" he asked. He was closer to her. She could feel soft breathes against her chin and part of her neck. It drove her mad.

"Mm." she mustered. Barely.

James leaned in closer to her; dangerously close. Daring her to do something. Move. Talk. Anything. His eyes searched hers for something; all the while still filled with that look. That look of pure lust; longing to have her. He found what he was looking for and froze his eyes on hers. She felt that very same way; and she saw how he saw it. Merlin.. that was not a good thing. "So I'll see you?" he said; in a low voice.

Lily took a sharp intake of breath. "You'll... you'll see me." she said nodding slightly.

James grinned and looked at her neck. Then met her eyes again. "You know, your really a beautiful girl." he said; he was closer. She could feel his perfect breaths against her. His lips were close.

"Th--Thanks." she stuttered in a whisper. She looked at his lips breifly; god she wanted this but... well there was no but. There wasn't a but! She wanted this; she'd always had a reason why not to and now she couldn't find one.

James leaned in and closed the gap between them. His lips met hers gently; but as soon as he saw she wasn't pulling back he deepened it. His tounge searched for entrance to her mouth; lightly grazing her lower lip. She took a sharp breath and accepted. Merlin, he was amazing. An amazing, truely amazing, kisser. Then as soon as she was ready to give herself up for him; right there; on that couch in the Gryffindor Common Room; he pulled back. Leaving her with that feeling. That longing.

"Your quite welcome Lily Evans." he whispered huskily in her ear and grazed her neck with his lips. She breathed heavily; shivering. She couldn't stop. It wasn't noticable; but James knew how to read her. He knew how to read her like a pre-school book.

He got up and grinned; walking off into his dorm.

Lily sat there; longing for more. God she was wanting him so bad. Why did he torment her? Why her? She looked up at the boy's dorm stairs watching James' shadow disappear up the steps. She shuddered. Her eyes glazed over with lust; she went back into her dorm. She needed a shower; then sleep. Long sleep. Saturday was tomorrow. She didn't know how much harder it was for James to do that.

He stood in the shower; letting the cold water ripple down his bare back. His eyes were filled with lust; and that kiss left him wanting her so much. As much as he loved to see her like that; he hated to feel like it back. **God.** She was irresistable. Perfect.

He felt much better after the shower; and slipped on his boxers. Sliding into his bed, he sighed. She wanted him back though. He saw it in her. Saw her eyes flickering with a small lust. He was the only one who could read her like that. Only one who could make her feel that way. He loved it; yet it made him feel the same way somehow. He ran his hands through his heavenly hair and drifted off to sleep.

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**I hope you like it. I had it up today; which is right after I put up the first chapter yesterday. Yes its a chapter; this is a story not a One Shot. (:**

**R&R. Thanks!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I own not those amazing characters that amazing JK Rowling thought up; amazingly. Mhmm. I like teh word amazing. (:**

**Important! - Kir is pronounced Keer. Kir Duggin'll**

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Lily moaned. "Come _on_!" she pleaded.

Lily's best friend sat on top of her in the Gryffindor Common Room.

"Kir! Please! I won't do it again!" she said trying to catch her breath. She laughed again; and again.

"Say sorry!"

"Sorry!" she gasped; her sides were acking.

Kir got up. Lily gasped for air as she felt her sides relax from all the tickling. Glancing up at Kir she saw a wicked smile playing her lips.

Lily glared.

Kir glared back. "I can't believe you Lily Evans. First you snog James Potter sensless; then you don't tell me!" she said looking hurt; but grinning broadly.

Lily glared harder.

"Really. I'm your best ... _**best**_ friend!" Kir said in a fake dramatic voice. She fell to the floor in sobs.

Lily glared so hard a whole started singing its way through Kir's pin straight, jet black hair.

"Alright alright! I can feel the heat radiating from you; god Lilers." she said.

"Hey; Miss _Kir Ella Duggin'll_; Don't be using the name I hate."

"Don't be using the name I hate."

"Then don't you go use the name I hate! See its a good chain here. You shut up. I shut up." Lily pointed out to her friend.

Kir rolled her eyes.

Lily sighed and sat back on the couch. Then spoke. "Listen. He kissed **me**; seduced **me**; made **m**e go nutters sitting near him; made **me** need him... its **his** fault! Not _mine_! I'm as innocent as--"

"Oh Lily, Lily, Lily."

Lily groaned.

"Your not innocent. I know some of your ex-boyfriends here at Hogwarts." said the slick voice of none other than Sirius Black. He laughed. "They said you were _loverly_." he said in a sing song voice.

Lily reddened. The bloke. She got up and faced Sirius; but just then two arms snaked around her waste; fastening around her small stomach. That scent. She felt his breath on her neck as he rested his chin on her shoulder from behind her.

"Potter." she said shortly; snorting.

He grinned; "Kissed anyone lately?" he asked; in a low whisper. Sirius held back laughter; while Remus rolled his eyes at his friends. Kir grinned dangerously; bubbling over with joy seeing her friends reaction.

Lily froze; then shivered back into a life like state. Her knees were shaking slightly; not noticably but James could feel it; feel the shiver running through her, at every exhale he made on her neckline.

"No." she replied using the last of her voice.

He immediatly let go of her; "Now its not nice to lie dear Lily."

She glared. Technically she hadn't kissed him; he'd kissed her. And why did he let go. She was beginning to like his embraces. She wanted him to hug her like he had at the party.

"I'm not lieing; its _100_ percenttrue." she said sneering.

James still held his gaze on her; that would stray to her neckline every now and then. Merlin he was fascinated with her. He held her gaze again; knowing what she said was true. Ah, not all true. She'd kissed back.

He stared harder; and she could feel her legs loosening. Really. Oh god. Was she going to fall?

Lily's knee moved slightly. They just stared; Lily feeling weaker, James feeling ... well fine. Sirius snaked an arm around James neck; breaking his gaze. "Mate. You... have got one hell of a chick." he said shaking his head.

"I'm not his chick!" she said stomping her foot; her legs gaining feeling again.

Kir turned to Lily, giving her a look. Lily took a shaken breath and started, "I'll give you to the count of ... 3 to leave us alone." she said with a huff.

"One." she said looking at them. Sirius was nervous; Lily would hex his balls off if he wasn't careful.

James met her gaze again, "Two." she said weakly. Then she couldn't focus on anything but him. And that body. Ah-**god** he was doing it again.

James was now infront of her. His face half a centimeter away. "Three." he whispered and brushed past her. Sirius stiffling laughs behind him; Remus just shaking his head.

Lily shook visably. "Merlin that boy'll kill me some day." she muttered all at once.

"Hmm?" Kir asked looking at her friend.

"Nothing. Nothing." Lily said back with a smile.

Kir raised her eyebrows.

Lily raised them back.

They both grinned and walked out of the common room linked by the arms.

* * *

"What?"

"Nothing."

... "What?"

"Nothing.. nothing."

"For Merlin's sake and my sanity James; _WHAT_!" Lily asked agrivated.

James looked at her; blankly. "Sorry. Its nothing." he said stiffling a laugh.

Lily gave him an inquiring look. They were in the library; somewhere off in the corner and James was helping her with some of her Transfiguration work. Alone. Which was killing Lily. But right now...

James' gaze strayed to her... "Oh for Merlin's _sake_... James. Your a little pervert--"

"No! No.. your shirt its just. Uhm." he said tilting his head and his eyebrows shot up. Now he was grinning.

Lily looked down. **Shit**. She reddened and huffed. "_Really_." she muttered; buttoning her shirt back up.

"Lily that bra leaves nothing to the imagination." he said smiling. She looked for real-ness; nope. Fake again. Lily sighed.

"Yeah well... I'm done; we can go back I s'pose." she groaned, "Its 12 am." she said astonished.

James looked at her disbelievingly. "It could not have taken that long. Unless your stupid; but your not." he said quickly at her look.

He got up and she grabbed her parchment and quill and ink; tossing it in her bag. Sighing she got up too.

They were both walking silently; James every now and then would look over at her. Once or twice his gaze fell too far below her stomach. She'd glare and he'd look ahead again.

Then James stopped. Lily turned around and raised her brows at him.

"Lily." he asked looking at her that way again. Oh no. For Merlin's...

"Yes?" she could't stop herself. She did want him; a lot. A whole lot. But she didn't know if she could trust herself. With him and all. He was a dangerously handsome boy.

James tilted his head slightly and grabbed her wrist pulling her into a kiss. She pushed against his chest at first; from the sudden outburst; but then eased a bit into it. Where had this come from?

James didn't know either. What was he doing; I mean he would've done it but he didn't expect himself to do it just then. Out of nowhere. But then; out of nowhere he had gotten this feeling. This feeling that he really wanted Lily. It happened a lot; and he never ignored it. He did something about it. He'd seduce her or kiss her. But he never just randomly did it; not like this at least. What was Lily doing to him?

Lily was lost. He was such an amazing kisser. No wonder he was the sex god of Hogwarts; if he could kiss like this who knew what other paradise worthy things he could to to a girl. She shivered as his hands snaked slowly around her waist.

His tounge brushed her bottom lip; and she shivered again in acceptance. James realized that there were walls in corridors; obviously; and backed Lily gently up against one. He left her lips; making Lily frown inside but soon that was forgotten. He trailed down her neck; lighting everything he touched on her body to fire. He got back up to her lips and she waited. She had that feeling; that longing again. She could feel it building up in her body. Her breathing became heavier. She marveled in his kisses; the things he could do to her with his mouth. It made her want to see what he could to her whole body. She wanted to kill James for what he did next.

James was a microscopic size away from her. Breathing steadily.

"Oh... nothing." he said simply in reply to her inquiry of why he'd called her name. He moved his mouth to her ear; a hair from touching it; and whispered huskily, "Nothing at all, Lily." He trailed back to her lips; leaving a heavy ghost of a kiss lingering on them.

She fumed inside; but just looked at him; searched him. She wanted to hear him say her name again. She loved how it rolled of his lips; those heavenly lips, and made her shiver so much she could feel the cells making up her body shake slightly. Then he pulled away. No! Again? She made a quick movement; like when he'd fallen ontop of her; to bring him back to her which didn't go unoticed on James' part. His work was done. Even though it left him with that same deep longing she had; possibly worse. How did she do this to him? I mean; other girls he longed for but not enough to make him feel so shaken inside. His scalp chilled everytime she said his name.

He pulled off of her and continued walking down the corridor. He turned around to see Lily breathing a bit fast; shakily, wondering why... why he did that to her.

Hey; your not the only one, he thought warily. He really needed that cold shower.

Lily shook back to reality and they walked the small distance left back to the common room. Silently.

* * *

"Prongs."

"Mm." he groaned.

"Prongs wake up." Sirius prodded.

"Nope." he flailed his arms up at Sirius prodding.

"Prongs. Get your ass up!" he pocked him hard in the side.

"Mmaa." he groaned again.

"Prongs! You fat _lard_!" Sirius yelled.

Just then James rolled off his bed, falling with a thump; laughing loudly.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "The stupidest things make you laugh."

James looked him over, "Look whos talking Mr. _I_ _think_ _pickles_ _is_ _a_ _funny_ _word_."

Just then Sirius started laughing. Remus thwacked them both upside the head. "Your asses you know." he said wondering why he knew them.

"So. Where were you last night? With which girl?" asked an interested Sirius. James grinned remembering last night, Remus sat interested to hear.

"No one. I just helped Lily with her Transfiguration." he said a bit distantly. He instantly started thinking about how she'd make him feel like a knot was tieing itself slowly; agonizingly throughout his whole body. He'd shiver when she touched him. It made no sense. She just had this affect on him.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Oh. I have a date today again. With Terra. Terra Gwinskii. I love her last name." he said laughing. "Yeah, so the hot Ravenclaw. I'll see you guys later." he said wiggling his eye brows. "Much later." and before James or Remus could throw a pillow at him, he bolted out the door.

James dressed and him and Remus head out the door.

* * *

"Pass left! Pass _left_! No. YOUR OTHER LEFT SIRIUS!" Jamesbellowed over the rain.

Sirius stopped and threw to his teammate. He gave a sorry look to James. James nodded.

James watched his team play and pass and catch and hit. They were doing great.

"Good! Head in!" he roared over the rain. Every one landed against the sopping ground and walked back to the locker rooms.

James' hair was sticking to his forehead. But of course; one peice was up... somewhere towards the back. He took a huge breath in and sighed. "That was a good practice, we'll see you all Tuesday." he said. As the team nodded their response and head back to their house common rooms, Sirius looked at James.

"Sorry. But its just death out there." he said shaking out his hair. "The team doesn't know why you work us so much when its raining like that. Your a persistant little bitch." he said laughing. James grinned.

"I'll see you back at the common room." Sirius said and he moped away.

James sighed. He was soaked to the marrow; shaking a bit. Why did he run them so hard when it was raining like that? It was exhilorating though. James loved that kind of stuff. He shivered and yawned slightly.

"There you are. Remus is looking for you." came a voice. Lily.

"Mm." he said staring at her neckline again. It was damn beautiful.

Now, Lily had enough. She wanted him to pick her up and carry her to his room so they could do Merlin knew what. His hair was clinging to his face and was sopping wet; he'd used a dry spell on his clothes; but she could tell that he was still somewhat wet. But it looked so ... she couldn't find a word for it. She took a sharp breath. God he was good looking.Anticipation built up in her. Again.

James got up and stood infront of her. "What about?" he asked looking at her dead on.

Lily shook her head to imply she didn't know. James nodded. "Is it really important?" he asked backing her up against the wall.

Lily shook her head no. James nodded again. He had her against the wall now, his hand holding hers, pressing against her. "Where is he?"

"Common room." she gasped as she felt the cold wetness from him send cold chills up her spine.

James nodded once more, "Well," he said kissing her neck. "If its not that important," he continued, and trailed another kiss upward. "I suppose." he conintued on, another kiss. "It can wait?" he finished, kissing the corner of her mouth.

She gasped again as response. "Mm." she said swallowing hard. Torture. Pure torture.

He felt the tremor run through Lily, pure want. He grinned broadly inside. "What do you suppose we do then?" he asked and kissed her lips softly. Lily made an incoherent noise. He kissed her harder then, asking entrance to her mouth. She so gladly oblidged and his tounge explored her mouth for a third time. Lily made a moan when he licked the roof of her mouth. He loved it.

James pressed against her more. His leg inbetween hers. He used his free hand to put on her waist, and it traveled up her shirt resting on her stomach. His hands were cold and she shivered. He grinned against her lips. Lily wrapped her leg around his pulling him closer. James was caught of guard, but didn't object.

James' hand decided to travel lower, now gently touching Lily's thigh. She was overwhelmed, and felt that need to have him. For him to have her right there.

Yet again, she wanted to kill James for his decision.

James pulled back, though reluctantly, but still stayed pressed against her. "Better go see what dear Remus wants, no?" he asked and suddenly Lily felt the pressure from his pushing up against her, disappear. She frowned inside.

Lily glared. Why was he doing this to her? He left, giving her one last grin before heading out. Lily groaned. She needed to feel that pleasure again.

Sighing, she left as well.

"Lil! Lily!" Kir yelled after her, jogging up next to her. "Hey. Where were you?"

Lily shivered remembering. "Getting James for Remus." she said.

Kir grinned to herself. "Alright, so you want to go finish some of that work before Monday, tomorrow?" she asked remembering the two essays she had to complete.

Lily laughed, "Sure. And I'll edit them as well." she said rolling her eyes.

Kir smiled satisfied and they walked back to the Common Room.

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**Whew. This was a long chapter, well longer. (: Theres going to be seriously good parts comming up, and James' reason for not smiling anymore will come out soon.**

**Also, James and Lily'll soon get a little closer than fooling around. Not saying which chapter though.**

**Oh, and thank you sooo so much for all the lovely reviewing. I love you peoples.**

**Poison-Puppet: Thanks for your offer! I'll deffinetly contact you as soon as I have a free and uninterupted not busy moment in my life. (: Thank you again.**

**And thanks again, again, again to all my lovely readers and reviewers!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own blah blah blah blah JK's creations only blah blah blah blah. Yeah, thats my luffly disclaimer. I don't own 'em, didn't create 'em, don't know 'em (though I wish I could know 'em).

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Lily shuddered.

James' tounge brushed her bottom lip, and with a gasp she accepted. She loved how he kissed her, and quite honestly she could die swimming in them. If she could be kissed like this every day by him, she wouldn't have a problem with it.

James shuddered as both her hands grabbed onto his white shirt collar. His hands slowly moved down from her upper back to her lower back. Lily was aware, but didn't mind. At least not yet.

Then, he made a wrong move, and cupped his hands just under her butt, and she became very aware. She pushed away from him against his chest, and he held on for a second, then let her go. Did she refuse him? James wasn't used to being refused by people, and this was too new for him. He wanted to glare but he didn't, he just waited blankly for an answer. Lily half glared half looked sorry for what she'd done. She could tell it was confusing him, but something so ... wrong was confusing him this much.

"What... what do you think your doing?" she asked shakily, unsure of how to go about getting mad at him, which was odd really.

James just looked at her, "I was kissing you." he said simply.

Lily looked dumbfounded, "Honestly... is that really your answer?"

"Yes." he said back.

She just looked at him unbelievingly. "You know," she said pointing at him, "Your ... your really impossible. Do you think you can get whatever girl you want? Whenever, and whereever?" she asked.

He looked at her, "Yes. I do, I can, and I have," he said and sighed, "Until now." he said more agrivatingly.

Lily glared at him, "Your a spoiled brat you know that? Spoiled rotten." she said flamingly. She'd never stood up to him in such a way, she usually liked what he was doing but didn't want to go too far. Not now at least.

James quirked a brow and grinned. He didn't say anything though.

She glared harder at him, attempting to possibly burn a whole through his face. "You know what," she started, heading somewhere she'd regret more than anything later, "Your a spoiled rotten little pig who's parents bail him out of every little thing. Your an ass, and you probobly do rely on your parents for everything. They probobly save your skin, and theyre the ones keeping you alive. God knows that you couldn't keep yourself alive. You take advantage of girls, and you can't even get in trouble for it with your parent's backing you up with their very lives!" she yelled. Her look showed that the whole time she was saying it she was trying not to, knowing it was a terrible thing to say. And now she had a look of such regret, especially seeing his reaction.

He stared at her. He looked stoned; or drunk with his eyes clouded the way they were. His mouth was open, and he was moving slightly as if trying to keep himself balanced on his own weight. He was looking around the room; like he was drugged, his eyes glazed over and shaking his head very slightly. He swallowed, and from how his face changed, you could tell it was painful. Lily was breathing somewhat heavily with a concerned look for James. He didn't look all that ... healthy.

James swallowed again with more ease and looked over in Lily's general direction. But not at her. He shook himself out of his state and cleared his throat. His voice cracked as he did. Lily suddenly realised, something she'd said to him had hurt him, and that was the thing that made him not smile and not laugh like he used to. But what was it?

His state, however long it may have felt to him, and may have seemed to Lily, only lasted one minute or so. So he was back to normal soon, and Lily didn't have time to say anything. He grinned at her, his eyes still looking like when he was drunk, and head up the stairs to the boys dormitory.

Lily listened as his footsteps faded and a door opened, and shut. What happened? She sighed and groaned loudly, sitting down on the couch.

"Something wrong?" yawned Kir. She walked down the girl's dormitory steps in her pajamas, her straight hair frizzed out a bit and pulled back into a high side-ways pony for the night. Her slippers flopped as she stepped onto the Common Room floor from the steps and she strode next to Lily, sat down, and yawned again.

"No. I'm fine." Lily said with a smile. She couldn't believe she'd said all that though. It was terrible of her, I mean... James' parents didn't bail him out of anything, well they did. But he didn't rely on them. He hated some of it really, the fact that he got bailed out of everything.

"Hey listen, do you know whats happened to James?" she asked. "Doesn't he seem off to you?" I mean, it was obvious to Lily. Someone else had to have noticed too.

Kir looked at her strangely, "Lil, I don't exactly know what your talking about. He's fine. Nothings happened to him either. He hasn't told Sirius anything..." she said with a shrug.

Lily sighed. "Alright." she said and flopped down on the couch. Kir was giving her a look, like 'why did something happen?' and Lily was feeling her face deteriorate under the gaze. "Okay! Sheesh, if your going for 'World's first nuclear stare' then you've got it in the bag," she said with a grin and Kir laughed slightly. "I don't know. I said something and it seemed to have bothered him. Enough to make him shutup at least." she joked.

Kir grinned and Lily sat up. Kir put her hand on her friends back and smiled, then glared, "Go to bed. Sleep. Now." she said and they both laughed. As Kir walked towards the steps Lily sighed and thought about the whole thing that had happened with James. He was the most... unreadable person ever.

Lily trudged up the stairs behind Kir and yawned, she needed some sleep.

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James' head drooped and then shot back up, his eyelids trying desperatly to close. He opened them again, rather forcefully, and Sirius quirked a brow at him. He slipped a small vial into James' white shirt pocket, and waited for McGonagall to place them all in their new seats. She was desperatly looking for a reason to separate the Marauders, and in the second markings out of the four in term, she found one.

James, nodded his thanks, and uncorked the small vial. Pepper-up potion. He downed it while McGonagall's back was to him, and slipped it in his bag quickly. In an instant he felt better and grinned his thanks again, towards Sirius. Sirius gave a godly look and McGonagall finally turned round from the board.

"Here, all of you. Listen up!" she said clapping. The class hushed from its very dull whisper and came to attention. She perced her lips together as she scanned over the class. Everyone was there. Well.. no Lily was late. She groaned very silently. Unfortuanatly, (as said in earlier chapters), Lily was always late for this class. Constantly rushing in right at the bell, or Merlin knew how long, after it rang. She would always wind up copying notes most of the period, thus making it so that she didn't have much time to pay attention as McGonagall gave many notes. Rolling her eyes, she looked over the students again. She'd do those Marauders after everyone, and James being the last. Less trouble.

She seated everyone down, in random seats... and most wound up with people they could work with or could at least try and work with. Sirius wound up with Peter, and although he really knew Peter, he honestly didn't want to be his partner. Remus wound up with some Ravenclaw boy, and Kir wound up with a Hufflepuff guy. James was left. McGonagall sighed, and pointed at the seat in the back row. He sat down and prepared to sleep through the class.

"Good, very good." McGonagall said as she strode the front of the room. "Now, these notes are to be copied, and in 5 or 8 minutes, we'll do some reading from our text. Quickly though." she said, and with a flick of her wand, the chalk board flipped around in circles on its hinges, about 20 or so times... eventually slowing and stopping so that notes were visable in the finest cursive any of the students had ever seen. She gave a perce smile, and sat down attentivly. Grabbing her quill, she pulled a rather large stack of parchments towards herself, and began scratching 'x's and checks and scribbling here and there, with corrections, all over the papers.

James shrugged to himself, and grabbed his quill. Uncapping the ink bottle, he dipped the quill in twice, and pulled his parchment towards himself. He scribbled them down, in rather neat handwritting, but of course still scratchy, and every now and then, his head would pop up to check the board's words and scribble them down as his head lowered over his paper again. He got up to the 5th paragraph of notes, out of the 7, after about 10 or so minutes, and the door creeked.

Everyone turned their head, along with McGonagall, and her perce look, as the door opened a little more wider to reveal Lily Evans. She gave a sorry look to the professor, and McGonagall just rolled her eyes. She scanned the room and with that same sorry looks, she awkwardly pointed to the seat next to James. Yet, she still had that same perce air about her.

Lily rolled her eyes and threw her bag beside her, and just as she had gotten her things out, a flick of a wand came and went... along with the notes on the board. She turned to James. He nodded and swished his finished notes over to her, resting his chin in his hand as his elbow proped up his weight. She scrawled the notes out as McGonagall now flished her wand, and text pages came up on the board, in neat elegquant handwriting again. While a collective groan, not from James or Remus, for they rather liked this class, arrose from the class, all that was heard was the swish of texts accross desks and the crackings of some new ones being opened. (Some books were newer than others.)

James was on the third page, and Lily was almost done with her notes. He kept on about reading, but his leg touched hers and she looked over at him. Blankly, but questioningly as well. Wasn't he upset with her? Aparently it hadn't to have bothered him that much if he was trying to get in her underwear already now had it? She sighed and dipped her quill in the small ink bottle saftened to the table, scrawling some more notes on her parchment.

He didn't stop there, of course. He was James Potter. His leg moved slightly next to hers, and with his amazing ways, and knowladge about these things, her skirt hiked up a bit as he moved his leg. She sighed and rolled her eyes, ignoring it for now.

He didn't stop, but the funny thing was, his face stayed the same, eyes drilling through the pages of the book. And he was even reading as he did it. Doing his work as he attempted to get up Lily's skirt. He was on the 4th page now.

James' hand brushed her leg first, casually. When she looked at him, he looked back. He grinned and then grabbed another smaller peice of parchment, and scrawled out.. "Sorry, I had an itch on my leg." She gave him a 'yeah right' look and went back to what she was doing. She couldn't help to feel awkward now, even though she wanted to know what he could do to her.. with those amazing talents of his.

The corner of James' mouth was so unoticably upturned into the most unoticable grin as he read on. His hand rested on her thigh, but right near her underwear, under her skirt, as he (well what it looked like from someone else's point of veiw) put his weight on her, so he could pick up his quill from the floor, which had dropped. She stiffened a bit and expected him to take his hand off after he had gotten back up. He didn't.

Lily looked over at him... again. He grinned so innocently and boyishly she had to look away or he'd see her blush. It was an adorable little grin, honestly now. His hand stayed on her thigh, and Lily couldn't help but feel that it had gotten really close to her underwear, infact touching it now. His pointer and middle finger brushed the sensitive skin above the brim of them, as he moved his hand away, still reading on. Now he was on the 6th page. Lily took a quick intake of breath. What in lords name was he going for? Oh, not like she didn't know. She coudn't help but notice how much she wanted that in the same way she didn't. Wasn't he mad at her though? She could of sworn he was upset yesterday...

James saw how tense she'd gotten, more like felt the tremor run throughout her body. He just sensed these things, but he always noticed a huger reaction from Lily. This made him want to see it more, and so he did this all the time. He always wondered if he'd still try after he'd had her. Probobly.

Two girls, that were sitting two rows infront of James and Lily, were giggling and joking around silently at something, and one of the girls accidentally flung her quill beside Lily's bag. Lily ignored it. James found this interesting and grinned broadly. He gave a grin to the girls, and nodded saying he'd get it.

They flushed and grinned back. Instead of getting up, and going round Lily's chair, he leaned behind her. Their chairs were pretty close anyways, and almost touching, and she could feel his fit stomach against her back. It drove her mad. He grinned as he felt the slight twitch in her back muscle. He leaned all the way down, so his head could be said to be in level with her butt and grabbed the quill that was right by the back leg of her chair.

She stiffened again as he sat back up in his seat, and straigtened himself out. He then got up swiftly, and brushed his uniform pants off, walking over to the two girls. He handed them the quill and grinned deliciously. Now, was it that hard to get up and get the quill instead of drive Lily almost to the edge? She huffed.

James sat back down, and went on reading. He didn't have any more time to flirt with Lily, as the bell had rung and McGonagall was giving a loud shout of last minute reminders as the class filed out in a rush of loud giggles and roars of laughter, and conversations.

Kir linked arms with Lily, and they head off to the Great Hall. The Marauders were infront of them. Lily was walking someone in a direction behind James, and suddenly she bumped into someone tall and broad. Looking up she saw a mess of black hair from the back, and an untucked white shirt. James. He turned round, grinning again, deliciously, as Lily loved to say in her head. Did that make her insane?...

"Well, Lily." he said with a thinking look, as his brows furrowed together. "Not to be rude, but ... couldn't you watch where you walk." he asked mock seriously.

She usually, and always had a snide remark right back to him, but quite lately she'd become weaker around him. She rolled her eyes and her and Kir just moved infront of them. But James grabbed her arm and pulled her right up to him, spinning her round as he did so, so she know was looking up into his face.

"Watch your tounge lately, got it?" he asked, his eyes not seeming that usually dancing green. That peircing intense green that seemed the color could never be sucked out of them. She swallowed hard and furrowed her brows together in confusing, and he let go of her arm. She walked away, sort of dazed and Kir looked at her questioningly. She just shook her head and they walked off. Kir gave the same look to James' friends and they shrugged at her.

After they were gone, and the boys started walking and joking again, Remus looked over at James. "What was that all about James?" he asked as they strided into the Great Hall.

James sighed and shook his head, "Oh.. nothing." he said with a shrug. They seated themselfs at the Gryffindor table.

"No really, James... why does she have to watch her tounge? I've tried." Sirius said, attempting a crack at a joke. No one laughed though. For a joke to be a joke, someone's gotta find it funny... besides the stupid bloke who cracked it.

James ignored it, and Remus hit Sirius' arm. With a quick look to James, he grabbed at small roll and tore a bit off, popping it in his mouth. Swallowing, James sighed and looked at the entrance to the Great Hall.

"You don't have to stay you know," said Remus, "You look like you really wanna get out of here." he added with a weird look crossing his face for his friend.

James nodded and grinned at the guys, then head out the Great Hall.

All that time, Lily had been watching them. She saw him get up and leave, and as Kir kept on talking to her about her new Transfigurations partner, she hushed her friend. "I'm gonna see whats bothering him." she said and got up.

Kir looked at her, "But he doesn't want you to. He's a secrative kid that one. Never talks to anyone about his problems, and yeah Sirius.. but honestly, not everything in that head of his gets to Sirius." she said with a shrug.

"Its worth a shot." Lily grunted as she kicked her bag under the table. As she jogged out of the Great Hall, she yelled back, "Take my bag back for me?" and when Kir nodded, Lily completely left the Hall.

She just saw James round a corner and ran up behind him. "James." she said and he stopped.

"Mmm?"

She picked at a loose hem on her shirt. "Well," she said as he turned round. Upon seeing it was Lily, he loosened and gave her a 'delisious' grin of his, "Well, quite honestly ... you seem a tad bothered. Whats wrong?" she asked sounding as sweet as she could.

He rolled her eyes at her softness. Why would she care? He surely didn't care about her. Or her feelings. He groaned, as if this was a little child who didn't understand what the grown-ups were talking about.

"Nothings wrong... but you can make me feel better." he said raising his brows. His mouth didn't form a grin though. Maybe she'd think him serious if he didn't grin.

She looked at him uncertainly, but at no grin, she figured he might, on the slightest little chance, be telling the truth. Might... "Sure..." she said quietly and his face stayed the same. Serious. He actually was serious.

He quickly grabbed her wrist, and pulled her along a couple corridors into an empty classroom. He sat her down on a table, and he sat down on the one accross from it, so that the isle which a teacher would normally strole by to see what the students had done, was in between them, so that it looked like he wanted to talk in Lily's point of veiw.

He stared her down for a bit, just looking at her. As much as Lily knew it would break her down, she kept looking back. If it would get him talking... or maybe gazing into nothingness made the boy feel better. Strange kid he was.

He then jumped down from the table, and walked up and down the isle, passing her about two times. Then, when he was infront of her as he paced the third time, he stopped and looked at her again. She looked back.

James brought his pointer and middle finger under her chin, and by some sort of magical pupiteer strings, pulled Lily towards him. Her lips hit his, and to her surprise, he was kissing her softly. Tenderly, as someone who cared would.

Lily didn't know that James honestly.. didn't 'care' in the way she thought. Truth be told, the slow kisses were killing him. He was holding back so maybe this time, she might go at least a little further. She was right though, lately he'd become like a hollow vacuum of space when it came to feeling anything. More like a numb ringing came about him when he should feel hurt, happy, sad... it was all fake on the outside.

He snaked his arms firmly around her waist, and considering he was tall, and she was somewhat sorter than the normal height, he didn't have to strain at all. At that, her arms went around his neck. He kept the kiss soft, but his tounge brushed her bottom lip again, and she accepted. He made it a bit more intense, but restrained again knowing she might push away. Believe you me sweetie, it was killing him...

Lily didn't mind it however, and she was quite enjoying it. It was almost like a kiss from someone you consider your boyfriend. Her legs, subconsiously, wrapped around James and he moved it more, so he was as close as possible to her.

He left her lips then, and nussled her neck, giving her a soft kiss often. She sighed very slightly, ran her fingers through his hair. He took a deep breath in, and for the first time in a long while, felt like the world around him wasn't numb to feeling him, and seeing him. It didn't seem black and white and dead anymore. But it only lasted a little bit, and he wanted it so much more now that it was gone. He kissed her neck again, and moved back up to her lips.

She moaned as the kiss became just a bit more intense, and he restrained a grin from escaping his lips. But he felt in the back of his brain, the world get numb around him again, and dull, and black and white. He didn't want that, so he broke off and searched Lily's face for a minute. It only happened with her, and he wanted it enough that he could stay there the whole day just to feel that again.

Lily didn't know quite what was happening, but she could tell it had an effect on James. Not a bad one either. He seemed lost, but content. More settled. She deffinetly liked it.

James then kissed just below her ear, and felt her shiver a bit. He loved the reactions he got from Lily. They were so much more pure than all the other girls' reactions he'd been with. For some reason, he wanted to feel those reactions as much as he could, not like with other girls. It scared him, because he'd never felt ... needy. He'd always had just what he wanted right in a reach away. Lily was deffinetly doing something to him, and she had no clue.

He brushed his cheek against hers and kissed her again, on the lips. Then he let go of her waist and pulled back from her. He loved the feeling, sure, but it was scaring him. Driving him to some sort of confusion he really couldn't take. Not now.

She didn't hesitate, because she knew whatever had just happened, no matter what he'd origionally intended it to be, it wasn't that. It was real. That was James. She was sure that if he'd ever had a serious girlfriend, that was how he'd treat her. That wasn't someone who was looking for sex, that was someone who was looking for a feeling. She could just tell, and if someone asked her how, she'd never be able to put it to words. Nor to images.. or anything. It was just how you felt when you cared. And she didn't even know why she cared for him, but she'd taken to him all the more that one moment. Even after his eyes went back to that stone cold look again, hollow.

James took a deap breath and looked her over. He helped her down, rather roughly, for he didn't want her to feel him shake a bit. He felt like buckling right there and just... laying on the ground.

They both walked out of the classroom and James immediatly went in a direction Lily didn't know. She sighed and went back to the Great Hall. Kir was still there, talking to some other girls, one of which was on the Gryffindor Quidditch Team, and sat down. She immediatly picked up the conversation, but now the whole James thing was bothering her. It just made her want to know more about the kid, that whole experience.

James felt like tearing his brain out of his skull though. He didn't want to feel that way. He didn't want to feel like he needed someone to feel someway that he'd never even known about. It drove him crazy, and scared him to ends. His heart only raced faster as he raced down the corridors out to the feilds where he finally calmed down. He leaned against a tree and closed his eyes. He felt weak and tired, like a little kissing like that... wore him down to the brim. Sighing, he fell asleep against he tree, while he would be dreaming, he more along the lines thought about the whole thing with Lily, playing it over and over in his head.

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**Thanks for reading, and I'm dreadfully sorry it took so long to update. Its been perfectly hectic round here...-.- But I'm back. Highschool can stinkers. Lol. Review, and I promise for an update!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello again, guh... DisclaimerHere. Do not fret.**

**The characters of JK Rowling are not mine... you know I should just copy and paste that somewhere... its annoying me. '. If you haven't noticed I'm glaring at the word disclaimer.

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A heavy silence loomed over the Gryffindor common room, where Remus, Sirius, and James sat. They were all just sitting, well Remus and Sirius were staring at James. And James was staring at nothing. And nothing was staring at... nothing. James had been quiet for a while; and it was Saturday... That was the day they really had off, when their bedtimes were limitless and they could do what they wanted. Fridays were great, sure, but you had to finish all your homework early so you'd have a free Saturday. Then Sunday, you had to go to bed at normal time again, so you'd get up for school good and well on Monday.

Then, James got up. Remus and Sirius' brows lifted, as they hoped he'd say something and they leaned foward. But James just walked out of the common room, muttered something at the whole in the wall that lead to the corridor, and walked out; his broom zooming behind him.

Sirius cleared his throat. "I believe we should follow him." he said staring at the portrait whole.

Remus gave a look to Sirius, "And I believe we shouldn't."

"Thats what I said, 'I believe we shouldn't follow him."

Remus rolled his eyes.

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James' broom finally caught up to him and he stopped. The broom kept poking his back. He grabbed it and head out to the feild.

Upon being out there, James felt better. It was always amazing to him; the sky that is. And flying around up there. Sometimes he thought if he went high enough, maybe, just maybe all those weird thoughts in his head would go away. Then he stopped. But Lily put these weird thoughts and feelings in his head. In ways, he was mad at her, but couldn't get enough of her. It was insane really. She was a drug.

James mounted his broom and took one look at the ground below his feet, before zooming up. His broom was pin straight up, which was his favorite thing to do, as he flew. A slight grin tugged at his lips as he swirved the broom round right into a stop. The site that met his eyes was interesting to him, the Gryffindor tower. Right there was Lily's room. He snorted. Why would he care about Lily Evans? All he wanted was her, and only in that sense.

"Fuck." he muttered at the unbelievable idea of not being able to get Lily out of his head. Everything he thought of led back to Lily.

So, in this non-stop Lily thought, he decided he'd just fly up to the room's window. At getting there he saw it to be empty. He dismounted his broom, and sat on the window ledge, broom lying next to him, looking out over the grounds. He'd done this many times, but from his dorm, and from the roofs of other places. This was new, and different. He even slightly smiled.

"James?" Lily asked in a soft voice. She'd come in just a minute ago, and saw him sitting on her window ledge. Normally she'd be a tad freaked, but this was James, and she'd started to feel so differently for him. Sometimes she second guessed herself about this, but she even thought she might love the boy.

James didn't turn around, or look at her, or make any show of trying too.

Lily sighed and walked a bit more towards him, so that now she was leaning against the wall, next to him. She looked at the profile of his face. He was a gorgeous man, she had to admit that. But she knew the feelings he had inside really wanted to come out. He just didn't know it. She almost felt determined to get them out of him. No matter what it really took.

"James." she said and touched his shoulder. He didn't shove it off, but wanted to. He didn't want to hurt her, in all honesty.

He finally looked at her. Turning around on the window ledge, so that his legs were facing in the room, he grabbed his broom and jumped down so his feet were on solid ground. He looked around the room and then back to Lily.

Lily walked right infront of him, and wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her head on his chest. For a moment James felt that feeling come back to him. He almost shivered, but then he realized where this could lead. Not now. To his surprise, he didn't want to because he cared about her. That made him more mad. He couldn't care about her.

James sighed and moved his hands so they lay on her shoulders, as the broom dropped to the floor, and pushed her away from him. He was surprised to feel her tighten her grip and not let go of him. He took in a quick breath and felt himself shake for a minute until he relaxed. He tried again, pushing her shoulders to shove her away. Lily didn't let go of him.

"I know somethings wrong with you..." she said shakily, for she knew this was not her place to be holding onto his neck. "I'm not letting..." here she paused, and took in a shaky breath. "I'm not letting go of you, not until you tell me."

James swallowed hard and felt it burn. He shivered and then tried pushing her off again. It was making him frantic in a way. What was that muggle word? Probobly claustrophobic. That was it. He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes.

Lily blinked once, and put the lower part of her face, around her mouth, into the space between his shoulder and his neck. She could feel the warmth eminating from him through her lips. She blinked again.

"I told you." she said a bit more steadily, "I'm not letting you go until you tell me."

James opened his eyes and pushed again, but this time kept the force against her shoulders. She wasn't letting go. And he couldn't talk. Even if he was going to tell her anything, he couldn't. His throat was deciding to not work.

Lily bit her lip, and James could feel it against his neck.

She'd done it because she could feel him getting warmer. Like he was panicing. Lily just wanted to help him. She had realized that he was a normal human being when he'd kissed her that day in the empty classroom. She tightened her grip a bit more, but gently. Lily just couldn't see how he didn't know she was trying to help him. Was it that hard? Did she emit a harsh look? No, she didn't have a look. Lily sighed against his neck.

James' eyes were searching her dorm room. He lowered his hands from her shoulders and tried relaxing. It didn't work. His eyes closed, but he was still shaking a bit. Quickly, James re-opened his eyes. He didn't like closing his eyes. He felt Lily's warm sigh against his neck and swallowed again. That burning sensation went down his throat for a second time. He attempted at clearing his throat but it didn't seem to be working either. James moved his hands again, to her shoulders and pushed hard as he could. After a good amount of time, at least to him, of pushing at her shoulders, her grip broke and her hands unlaced from around his neck.

Upon releasing himself, he was still shaking and swallowing in a somewhat frantic manor. He found himself staring straight into Lily's eyes. They seemed helpless. Like she felt useless. And she did. She felt useless to him. James gave her one hard look and felt his voice burn up his throat. Unfortunately, the few words he said, were few words he would rather not have said. But they were said because he was confused and frustrated.

"You can't help me. Your just helpless." he said. His voice was deep, and slightly raspy. But he saw Lily's confused eyes looking back up at him. Considering she was slightly short, she didn't come up to high on him. She didn't know what she'd done wrong. Before leaving the room, but not on his broom, for he was too shaken to ride a broom steadily, he gave her one last hard look and left.

Lily stood there. She felt embaressed and could almost hear her cheeks flame up. Even with the embaressment, she also couldn't help feeling a bit confused. After standing for some time she felt her eyes burn. They were coated with a thick layer of liquid crystal tears. Blinking, they rolled fast down her cheek blazing hot paths behind them.

Lily swallowed and moved her head to the right, to look out the window. Turning her head felt as if she'd never turned it before in her life. It was already a bit darker outside. A darker blue that is, compared to the vibrantly, bright blue from when James had first come.

Lily sighed and shivered. Maybe she just needed to sleep. She just couldn't move though. A paled, thin hand whiped the now cool tears away from her cheeks. It didn't do any good, seeing as as soon as she blinked again they rolled down and blazed fresh, hot paths down her cheeks again. All this time thoughts were running through head. Why hadn't James told her? Something had made his emotions simply flood away from him. She couldn't help but notice that she saw twinkles of emotion spark like lightning through his gray blue orbs. But that was just it. Like lightning. They were fast and over soon. No matter how beautiful and captivating lightning was to her, or anyone, it would only last a fraction of a second. Emotion shouldn't last so little.

Crawling into her bed, even though it was still slightly early, Lily swallowed and let the tears run down her cheeks while she thought about everything. It just seemed so impossible, for someone so seemingly fine with the life he portrayed, to be so hurt on the inside. Taking a quivering breath, Lily let herself fall into a mostly dreamless sleep.

* * *

Sirius squinted his eyes. "Really? Muggles take that long on their hair?"

Kir rolled her eyes and smiled. "Yes Sirius. Unlike us wizards and witches, Muggles do things manually."

Sirius gave her a blank look.

"Meaning by hand."

Sirius still gave her a blank look. Kir made a low throat noise like a growl and glared at him.

"Meaning, that a muggle doesn't have magic." she said and waited.

Sirius immediatly gasped as if someone had just told him all the girls on earth were disapearing. He seemed truely surprised. "Wow." he said simply.

Kir just gave him a look and said, "Well--Sirius look at me. How in the world did you think of us? If muggles knew magic... they wouldn't be muggles." she said and shook her head in confusion.

Sirius thought about this and grinning. "Right." he said. Not in the sarcastic way he usually did, but in a 'oh I knew that' way.

Kir and Sirius were going over a Muggle Studies project together. They were assigned as partners, because Sirius had gotten up in the middle of class and yelled, "I cannot have Peter as my partner... for the 7th project this year!" and that made the professor change his mind. Kir had volenteered, only because Sirius was horrificly failing the class. She was good in muggle studies. So at this moment they were sitting outside, against a tree, on the grounds, on Saturday. Kir was busy trying to explain to Sirius the lack of magic in Muggle London, or muggle anywhere. He'd seemed so amazed that Kir was sure she'd need to know muggle reviving techniques to get him breathing again. She'd never seen someone in such a state of shock over something so obvious.

Sirius smiled over at Kir and she quirked a brow. What now? Oh, did she have something on her face or something. She remembered in 3rd year, how he'd always be laughing at her face when she had something on it that wasn't normally there. Even a scratch. If it looked out of place, it was funny to him. "What?" she asked.

Sirius just kept smiling and then out of nowhere decided to lean back, so that he was laying on his back, his arms folded behind his head, legs sprawled out. Kir snorted and raised both her brows at him. She was still trying to get used to his random actions. She was pretty used to them now, which was good. She knew when to expect them sometimes also.

"Nothing." Sirius said after a couple minutes of silence. "Just felt like smiling. You know, a smile is the most beautiful expression a girl like you has." At this he propped himself up on his elbows and looked at her. "Especially you." he said and plopped back down on the grass, his arms under his head again.

Kir obviously couldn't stop the hot flush from comming to her cheeks. It was a sweet thing. In fact, one of the sweetest things that she'd heard really come out of this guys mouth. She'd even, dare she think it, taken a slight liking to him.

Kir lay down on the grass next to Sirius, arms folded under her head, and legs sprawled out, but neatly, and sighed. This was something she could get used to. It was something only her and Lily did, and still, it was very rarely. She really needed to spend more time with Lily. Here and there, she'd start to lose the connection that she'd had with Lily. It was gradual, but happening. Kir would sometimes slunk off to the more well known of the girls in Hogwarts, thinking maybe she'd have more friends. Honestly, after being Lily's friend for years, she'd noticed changes.

The first 6 years were great, and Lily was pretty well known. But by the end of 6th year, Lily had started getting softer, and when she came back at the begining of 7th, she was like a snail that lost it's shell. No one talked to her anymore, and she just became as focused as she could on being alone. Unless she was hanging out with Kir. Kir had stood by her for a long time now, but she'd also taken her share of lost friends. Most people that didn't hang out with Lily, didn't want to hang out with Lily's best friend. That would be Kir.

So, lately Kir had kept herself low. Away from other people and more time for Lily. She'd realized she'd neglected her for a while, and only a week or so ago had things sparked up again between the two. It was amazing how much you could loose in so little time. Kir sighed thinking about this. When she felt reality sink slowly but surely back to her, she looked over at Sirius. The corner of her mouth twitched up into a small smile. This whole day she'd been with him, and he'd been nothing but a fun, funny guy. Someone she really started to like.

Kir's eyelids felt heavy, so she gently closed them. Thats when Sirius noticed she was sleeping. He smiled at her still form and opened his mouth to say something. He closed it, and started again.

"You know," he started in a softer voice than usual, "Your probobly one of the only other people I can share things with. Yeah, James is really nice talking to, and he knows what I'm going through, and Remus knows too, he's got ... a monthly thing. Not in that way though. Its more of a hairy problem than a girly problem." he said and snorted a laugh softly.

"I'll go home though, over the summer that is," Sirius started again, back into a soft, almost solumn tone. "and I'll be in my room most of my time. I don't talk to Bella, oh no, you can see that just from school. I don't talk to Regulus. I can't. He's not like me. None of my family is like me. Maybe Andromeda, but she still has her mindset. My mindset is very different that my family's. They don't respect it and I've come home to a fist, a palm, and a foot in my face or accross my back. I don't know if you know what I'm saying, or even understand it." he stopped and looked down at Kir.

"But, I don't think I know such soft emotion. I think thats why I'm the way I am to girls. To people." he said and paused. Taking a shaky breath in, he went on. "I want to go home, just once, and be greeted by two warm arms, not two cold hands accross my face. Why can't I get that? What makes everyone else so special?" he asked feeling something burn at his eye. He blinked it away, before that small tear fell, and swallowed. Sighing deeply, he looked back down at Kir.

"Maybe I'll actually tell you when your not unconsious." he said and moved the long black hair away from Kir's eyes. He closed his eyes and his head, after nearly 4 minutes, fell a bit to the right, and he was asleep.

Kir's eyes fluttered open. She looked up at Sirius' sleeping face and felt a tear well up in each eye for him. She pulled herself up so she was looking down at him, and put a chilly hand against his face. "You can have that. You will have that." she said and let one tear fall down her cheek. She rested her head on his shoulder and stared up at the now dark, dark blue sky. "I promise."

* * *

**How did you like it? I told you, that it may have taken a while, but I came back with a bang:) I hope you like it. Please R&R. I'd greatly appreciate it.**

**Thanks.**


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